FALL AGAIN?

When I typed the title, I was referring to the season. It was in the heat of summer when I last posted and here we are coming up on fall. I really can't say I know when the seasons begin and end. I usually go by the weather however, for the last couple of days we have had unusually high temperature and tornado warnings every few hours. Weather warnings are such fun (not really) at my house. The weather siren is about 1 block away. You do not have to strain to understand what is being said because it feels as if the weather alert person is at the foot of my bed in the middle of the night. Does the weather siren have me up and moving to my safe place (master bedroom closet)? NO!!! Now, don't you appreciate me giving you useless information after being postless for over two months.

Back to the title. It could refer to my fall in my battle of the weight loss, again. I'm sounding like a broken record (for those of you that are old enough to remember records). I signed up with "Sparkpeople" last month and in that month I gained 3 lbs. What is with that!!!! I could go on and on about my lack of motivation (complete lack), my happy marriage (yes, J is still in the picture), my new step-motherhood status (harder than I thought it would be), my job (stressful time of year), or feel free to make up your own excuse. EXCUSES, I am full of them! As my rear gets bigger and bigger so do my excuses. Sadly, I have come to believe some of them. However, my analytical, critical, auditing mind has kicked in. Pity it didn't kick in 20 lbs ago.

Not caring for my body shows disrespect to the one who made me (I'm not talking about my parents). Scriptures are full of references to caring for our bodies so why am I choosing to ignore them. My body is God's temple so who am I to trash His temple!!! It doesn't seem that it would be that hard to care for my body, especially what I put in it. Now does it??? It appears I'm having a moment of repentance so will I turn from my backslidden condition and return to do what is necessary to take care of my body. Do I not love myself enough or do I not love my Creator enough? That is the question racing through my head as I type. Tears fill my eyes because of my inability to answer myself. Eating correctly isn't about motivation because motivation is like fear. Sometimes we just have to do things even though we are afraid. Sometimes we have to do things (eat well) even though we are not motivated. I'm always going to have stress at work so what! I'm happy being a wife and step parent so changing that is nonnegotiable. Truth I do love the One that created me enough to say "no" to a lot of fat and calories. I will return to scripture as I always do to find my true answers.

I'm not asking you to solve my problem or even to comment on the post. What I am asking is for your support. You were with me as I lost ninety lbs. so I know you will not fail me now. I ask for your forgiveness for not visiting your blogs and commenting as I did in the past. I will try to do better because many of you share my same issue and I receive inspiration for you for which I am very grateful.